One thing I have learned since becoming a mom is that we do not own our children. I found this personal revelation profound. Even though my child is my child, his life is still his own. This realization was presented to me when I had to go back to work and leave my son with someone else to care for him. Even though my son is very tiny and very dependent on other adults for his basic needs at this juncture in time, he is still an individual being having his own life experiences. He will continue to grow and continue to have experiences whether I am present or not. This realization has been a big part of self growth, after carrying him in my body for 9 months.
When I came to realize all of this, I was able to truly see the power behind non-attachment. This does not mean I am not attached to my son. I very much care about him and his wellbeing. In fact, it's my main priority. What I mean about non-attachment, is the understanding that my son was blessed with own life. He was blessed with his own soul. He was blessed with his own mind. Yes, my son came from me, but he does not belong to me. He belongs to himself in the big scheme of things.
One day he will be a man. He will have his own life story. I will simply be a character in his life. It is my hope that I make positive impressions on his life. It is my hope that how I raise him nurtures self-love, self-confidence, self-respect, and much happiness. Yet, in the end, my son's life experiences are his own.
The day I sat with this realization was the day I also had to embark on a new journey with trust. It was also the day I had to let go of certain levels of control. Since my son is not an object, but his own entity, I realized I can't and won't be able to control all aspects of his life. It was a scary thing to swallow for me, but it was also freeing once I looked deeply at the great teacher of parenthood. I say it is freeing because it reminds me that in the end, I am just doing my best, trying my best, and learning my best each day. Daily, I am learning to trust that those who come into my son's life are doing their best and trying their best. And one day, it is my prayer that my son only allows people into his life who love him the best and treat him how he wants to be treated. Motherhood is proving to be my greatest life teacher.
One of my biggest motivations to weight train and cross train all these years has been my desire to be physically able for my kids. Even before I had a baby, this was one reason I stayed fit. I did this because I always knew I was meant to be a mom even if it required having to wait extra long. I believe our daily actions prepare us to receive our future. I believe in manifestation, so in a sense I created myself as a fit mom years ago. Now excluding occasional injuries, which all athletes face, I am so happy to be able to play without worry of being out of breath. Shoot, I even use proper athletic stance when picking up my boy or toys off the floor. I love that I’m already raising my son to see fitness as normal and to see his mom as a strong woman. I want to normalize athletics in my house, regardless of gender. Being an athlete has been one of the best parts of my life and it’s what connected me to my life partner from day one.
How have your brought fitness into your family's life? Comment below. I am dying to know!
I am not going to pretend that I enjoy being a working mom. Honestly, if I could have the world my way, I would be home with my son till he was school aged and I would just write blogs and coach. However, it’s not a perfect world.
I tell myself pretty little lies daily to ease an inner pain of being separated for my sweet boy. I tell myself to be proud that I can provide for my son by having a great job. I tell myself be thankful you have a career that has great insurance, lots of time off, and a job where I don’t work nights or weekends. All of these things are true, but it doesn’t mean I can’t feel a secret sadness about being away from my baby boy.
I am lucky my son gets to be with his paternal grandmother where he can see his primos and receive love from his tias during the week. It doesn’t mean I can’t miss him. Even though I’m at work and focused on making a difference for other people’s kids, I still worry about my own child constantly. Thoughts like, is he napping? Is he having fun? Is he okay? Is he happy? What is he doing?
Someone told me that the day you become a mother is the day you worry for the rest of your life. I think it’s true. I have only been back working full-time for four weeks, and fortunately I have an amazing spouse and extended family helping to raise our son, but it’s not easy. It’s hard going from a recent 24/7 mommy to just getting to hold my baby for a few hours a day. It’s hard trying to fit everything in and being comfortable letting certain things go that my former self use to fixate on. Finding balance as a new mom is a transition, and I know I’m transforming into a working mom.
People who say hire help should be careful with that comment because not all people live a life with that much disposable income. Instead, I think moms should say to other moms: take it one day at time; do what you can; be willing to let things go; it will be okay; you’re doing great; it’s okay to cry; don’t be so hard on yourself; be willing to take breaks; spread your chores out; it’s okay to miss your baby; you’re amazing! To all you working moms out there, I am so proud of you because I know it ain’t easy.
Are you a mom? Would you like support from a trainer who has been in your shoes? If so, you should contact me for a FREE consultation. I would love to support your journey and help you reclaim yourself. We don't have to find our balance alone. I surely do not do everything alone. I feel it's important to have people in our corner, helping us to achieve our goals. Reach out at anytime!
I have worked very hard over the course of my life to care for other people. I have always had a maternal spirit. My desire to help others has also taught me that you can’t give from an empty cup. I have made self-care a priority in my life. Now, for many moms putting yourself first can come with many negative opinions from outside sources. Some moms get told they are selfish if they make time to workout or go to a spa or have a lunch date with friends. But why? Why shouldn’t a mother be able to care for herself and to do things that rejuvenate her spirit? I feel when a mom has some alone time to focus on her needs then the entire household thrives long term. In my household, we support each other in ways that allows our cups to overflow. Happy mommy, happy baby, happy daddy, happy home (feel free to tweak for your family dynamic).
I have worked hard to not only live a fitness lifestyle, but help people transform into that lifestyle as well. One of the biggest road blocks for many people, especially single parents, is affording personal fitness coaching. I know first hand how tough it is to make it month to month, especially as a resident of the Bay Area (the most expensive place in the states). My coaching packages come with not only amazing prices but unbeatable care. My ❤️heart goes into each plan and I provide tons of attention and extra goodies to all my athletes and transformation clients.
If you are tired of trying to give from an empty cup then consider signing up with me as your personal fitness lifestyle coach. You won’t regret the journey. I guarantee it.
There is no transformation that actually feels good. All transformation requires you to go through pain. Not only does your body have to physically endure levels of discomfort, if not great discomfort, but your mind has to really push itself to a new level of thought and perspective. The most uncomfortable moments of any transformation is right before you break past the precipice. To go to the next level, to transform into that new person, you have to push through this invisible wall that requires immense strength and courage.
When I think back to my bodybuilding pursuits, it was always the moments when I felt like I had nothing left to give where the real change happened because I pushed myself both mentally and physically to another level. When I think back to the gestation phase of my pregnancy, the hardest was toward the end when I really had to push through physical discomfort and the fear of the unknown of labor. Likewise, the beginning of motherhood was incredibly painful, as I morphed and transformed into a new woman.
Transformation takes grit. It takes patience. It takes vision. It takes bravery. And it forces you to be more vulnerable than you ever could imagine. Going through a transformation is a ton of work, but what happens on the other side is beautiful. I can’t help to think of butterflies when I think of total change. Butterflies can’t tell us what it feels like going from a caterpillar to living in a cocoon to flying freely with colorful wings. From an outsiders perspective, it is inspiring and mesmerizing and gives us hope and inspiration that if God could design a creature to undergo such immense change then we, as intellectual beings, can also undergo profound change as well. To transform simply requires you to stick with something without giving up, knowing that things will get slightly worse before they get better, and that the journey is the most incredible part of any change. The victory is not necessarily the end result, but what it took for you to get to your destination.
“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new,” Rajneesh.
I am a new person down to how I use my seconds in a day. Now everything I do is to make sure I have plenty of time for cuddling and playing with my son. 4 a.m. wake ups for 5 a.m. workouts is how I’m able to spend an entire evening with my son after a day at work. He is now my long walks and jogging companion too. I never want my son to look back on his childhood and question if he was loved enough or held enough. I want my son to know he was my biggest priority and that’s why I worked so hard to make everything else work. I want him to know that because of him, I became a better woman.
Are you a mother who would like support with fitness and nutrition? Would you like someone to keep you accountable, and design a plan for you to feel your best? If so, you should click the link above to schedule a FREE consultation for your POSTPARTUM fitness coaching program. It doesn't matter if you had your baby three months ago or 30 years ago. You're still a mother who has specific needs that I can support you with. I look forward to helping you come your best version
Right before I did this photo shoot, at six months postpartum, I asked one of my dearest friends, who is also a mother of two boys, if I should do the shoot now or “wait until I look better.“ She told me “Absolutely not. Do the shoot.“ She told me that it’s really important, as a postpartum woman, to see other women reflect similar struggles because this way she knows she isn’t alone in the journey to reclaiming herself. I have to say I agree. We had a long conversation about this; about our bodies, our new way of looking at ourselves, and our new way of thinking.
For many women much of our self identity, and sadly value, comes from physical appearance. Social media is one of the biggest pushers of this lie. This is a societal truth globally. I’m not going to go into a debate about how this is right or wrong, but I will say it makes being a woman complex.
As a postpartum woman, I can say my relationship to myself is very different than it once was. My body to date, six months postpartum, has an overall composition very different than what it once was. My approach to training is much different than ever before. I am learning to do more with less time. I have excess skin in my abdomen that once never existed. My muscle mass to fat mass has changed. My hips have changed. Lots of physical things about me have changed. But guess what? It is okay! It has been worth it. Mentally, I am more confident and accepting of myself. I have become more patient with myself. I feel I have become more focused in all aspects of my life because I have so little time for me that I have to make each second count. Even my relationship to food has changed in a real positive way. My new body may be softer, but I guarantee my little baby loves being cradled by my softness. This may be my body right now, but like all bodies they change a lot over the course of a lifetime.
If you’re a mom, or even a kid free woman reading this, and you feel your worth is only measured by your body think again. Your worth is measured in your actions and how you make others feel. So embrace yourself, go after your goals, and make yourself proud. As my best fried told me, “Do it!” Do something that gets you out of your comfort zone so you can blossom in ways you didn’t realize where possible.
I just turned 37, and I have to say I am fortunes full. It’s rumored that a life which is rich is not necessarily equivalent to dollar signs, but how you feel inside. I think that’s fairly accurate, if not completely true. When I think back on my life till now, I have lived a very full, exciting, and to some even daring life. Yet, there was always something missing. There was always a void that I felt I needed to fill. Unabashedly, I don’t feel that way anymore. I feel complete, whole, and happy. Now there’s a back story as to how I arrived at this place of genuine happiness, but I’ll share that another day.
Long story short, I feel so fortunate today and everyday that I wake up. Why? The biggest reason is because of my little family. It took me much longer than most women to find that one special man to have a family with and now I have this amazing son! I don’t need presents or cards or cake or songs for my birthday this year. I have all I need. I feel rich beyond compare and I have the big guy upstairs to thank. Another year around the sun and this time I’ll have my boy by my side keeping me in smiles.
Women: how do you feel about yourself these days? What could help you to feel more happy? Do you focus on your happiness enough? I want to hear your thoughts. Comment below and let me know.
When people ask me how motherhood is going I say words like: amazing, wonderful, fantastic, and I love it. I don’t lie to people. I love being Emilio’s momma. Have I had tough moments? Yes. Have I felt inadequate at times? Yes. Have I felt unsure of what to do? Yes. Have I felt insecure about my body? Yes. Yet, I can honestly say I love being a mother because each hard moment has helped me to grow and learn.
All my lessons have taught me little tricks and genius ways to sooth a baby or situation. Each time I felt inadequate or insecure has forced me to get in touch with my inner self and remind myself how powerful my body and mind truly are in the big picture. I mean my body made a beautiful baby and is now reshaping into an athletic physique. Incredible!
Like other women, I endured a long labor to having to care for my newborn while recovering from a cesarean alone. I handled breastfeeding, pumping, doctor visits, and healing from mastitis twice. Thank God for technology, too, because being a mom taught me to not be afraid of vulnerability and to reach out for help and to ask questions. Motherhood has been my ultimate teacher.
This new life has shown me I am beyond powerful, and I love motherhood because of this realization. Motherhood has shown me how unstoppable of a spirit I own. Motherhood has put all my preachings to the test. All the things I tell my female athletes and fat loss clients has been put to the test. Everything I tell my students has been put to the test. Proudly, I have put my words into practice and I keep seeing positive results. I feel so genuinely happy. So yeah, I love motherhood.
Photographer: Sean P. Walker https://www.seanpwalker.com
The next series of blog posts will be the story related to my most recent photoshoot. I did a photoshoot at six month postpartum to open up a dialogue about my experience with motherhood. It is my hope that other mothers find a bit of themselves in my posts.
Want to know how I have maintained a fitness lifestyle all these years? Want to know how I keep myself accountable? Want to know how my clients transform? Well, I have five words for you!
Whether you want your body to look a certain way, to get that particular job, or to have a certain quality life YOU have to BE CONSISTENT. What you do each day has a much bigger impact on your life than what you do once in a while.
I promise you, the 20 minutes you give to cardio every day will have longer lasting results then the 2 hour session you do once a month. Consistently lifting weights multiple times a week will have a much greater impact on your physique then trying to do a marathon weight session a few times a month. Trust me friends, it is the daily habits that mold your life.
I cannot begin to explain the importance of being soft with your goals. Be stubborn in your pursuit, but keep close to heart that life is unpredictable. Things happen to us that are often out of our control. We cannot always control injuries, the loss of loved ones, illness, and more. When our life gets hit with chaos, pain, or loss we have to be FLEXIBLE and adjust our approach to our goals.
Even dealing with day to day life can be tough. Life often gets more complicated as we grow. We all have jobs, families, and many responsibilities. Be flexible with how you approach your daily schedule. Make your fitness fit into your lifestyle. You have 24 hours in a day, which means there is tons of wiggle room for that one hour workout (which is just 4% of your day!). You also have time to cook your own food. Simply, make a plan and follow through, but be flexible when needed.
There comes a point in one's journey when motivation no longer matters or is needed to get a task done. All that is needed is determination. Having determination is a HUGE, essential component to being successful. With every competition I had done, it was not motivation that got me into the gym to train 3 hours a day after working 8 hours, it was determination. Determination is all about doing what needs to be done, even when you don't feel like doing it.
Your purpose is why you stay determined. Your purpose is why you allow yourself to be flexible in your approach toward goals. Your purpose is why you decide to have daily consistency in your thoughts, words, and actions. Having purpose is what drives you to be unstoppable. Purpose is what gets you out of bed everyday. It is what navigates you through your life. Purpose is critical if you want success, happiness, and health. Find your purpose and watch your life come alive!
In the end, everything comes down to YOU. No one is going to win the race for you. No one is going to lose the weight for you. No one is going to build muscle for you. No one is going to do anything for you because you can do it for yourself. This is reality. Nothing is owed to anyone. No person deserves anything. You have to work for everything. This is the coach in me speaking to you. You have to grind to get to where you want to go. If you follow my five words to success you will be unstoppable. I promise. You mind-set is everything. Your daily actions are everything. Your attitude is everything. You are everything. Stop looking for the missing piece because it is right in front of you. Look in the mirror if you are unsure where to find it. Do you see? It's YOU! You are the one who can make anything in your life possible.
I know I just gave you a BIG pep talk and a little bit of tough love, but that is because I BELIEVE in you! I know it often takes someone to believe in us and be in our corner to help make our success a reality. I have had coaches along my path help me reach various goals. Hopefully reading these tips to success inspired you. Yet, if you feel that you still need that extra push, or someone to hold you accountable, then reach out! I can guide you through a transformational journey. Together, we can go much further then if you tried to go alone. Click above for a free consulation!
I am a new mother who has her hands full! I juggle not just my coaching business, but I am also a full time educator. I also teach yoga in the Bay Area, and I mentor first generation college students.