Exploring Non-attachment in Motherhood

One thing I have learned since becoming a mom is that we do not own our children. I found this personal revelation profound. Even though my child is my child, his life is still his own. This realization was presented to me when I had to go back to work and leave my son with someone else to care for him. Even though my son is very tiny and very dependent on other adults for his basic needs at this juncture in time, he is still an individual being having his own life experiences. He will continue to grow and continue to have experiences whether I am present or not. This realization has been a big part of self growth, after carrying him in my body for 9 months.

When I came to realize all of this, I was able to truly see the power behind non-attachment. This does not mean I am not attached to my son. I very much care about him and his wellbeing. In fact, it's my main priority. What I mean about non-attachment, is the understanding that my son was blessed with own life. He was blessed with his own soul. He was blessed with his own mind. Yes, my son came from me, but he does not belong to me. He belongs to himself in the big scheme of things.

One day he will be a man. He will have his own life story. I will simply be a character in his life. It is my hope that I make positive impressions on his life. It is my hope that how I raise him nurtures self-love, self-confidence, self-respect, and much happiness. Yet, in the end, my son's life experiences are his own.

The day I sat with this realization was the day I also had to embark on a new journey with trust. It was also the day I had to let go of certain levels of control. Since my son is not an object, but his own entity, I realized I can't and won't be able to control all aspects of his life. It was a scary thing to swallow for me, but it was also freeing once I looked deeply at the great teacher of parenthood. I say it is freeing because it reminds me that in the end, I am just doing my best, trying my best, and learning my best each day. Daily, I am learning to trust that those who come into my son's life are doing their best and trying their best. And one day, it is my prayer that my son only allows people into his life who love him the best and treat him how he wants to be treated. Motherhood is proving to be my greatest life teacher. ​